Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" First inmate answers, "Winston Churchill told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
medical
One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted to commit suicide but unfortunately she did not know where her heart was. So the old woman calls up.
A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The.
Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you!
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses. Teller: You certainly do. This is a bank!
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a.
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do...
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, ''Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?'' The mother says, ''It's my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings,.
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians. (Courtesy of Richard Lederer, Ph.D. "Fractured English.") - By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart.
How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.